Happy 4th Anniversary, Butt Fumble

It’s hard to believe, but exactly four years ago today – November 22, 2012 – Mark Sanchez introduced mankind to the Butt Fumble. And life as we know it would never be the same.

It’s rare in this world that you ever see perfection in any form. Every creation of man is flawed in some way. Persian rug makers will intentionally put one mistake in their work to make the point that nothing is perfect but Allah. And yet, the Butt Fumble is the rare exception.

It was simply a miracle of ultimate failure on every level. Everything about the play was flawlessly bad. Awfulness you could not have choreographed. The botched handoff to the fullback. Sanchez opting to take the ball into the interior of the line with the edge of the formation wide open to him and the sideline beckoning. His decision to run right into Brandon Moore. The inexplicable and improvised half-slide, that put his face right between Moore’s ass cheeks in such a way that he’s lucky he didn’t get pinkeye. And then of course the fumble itself, which could only have resulted in a scoop and score touchdown for the Patriots to complete the terribleness. It was inevitable.

The weird part about the Butt Fumble being four years ago is that it feels like it was just yesterday, but at the same time like it’s always been with us. In the way Socrates believed in a non-physical world where everything exists in its ideal form, and the Butt Fumble was that realm’s representation of the perfectly bad football play. Which the Jets didn’t so much create but bring to our world on that magical Thanksgiving night game four years ago.

I’ll have a lot to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. And you can be sure the fact I got to witness the ultimate in Jets failure in our lifetime will definitely be high on the list.